One Year Ago...

One year ago.  Simply Youth 2013. Skit Guys and the Carbaughs.

I can hardly believe that it was one year ago that Luke first visited Asbury with his dad and the outlandish idea that perhaps God was calling us here crossed our mind.  It was one year ago that we attended Simply Youth Ministry Conference with AnnaMae, Debbie, Miriam and Donnie and God spoke directly into our lives through so many speakers, leaders and fellow ministers.  It was one year ago that our vision became reoriented and our path began to become clear through the Word, God's leading and lots of prayer together and with others.

Luke was asked in one of his classes to bring in one object that he felt could symbolize his faith journey and write a paper to go with it.  His object was a container of play dough and his paper is below.  It is so hard to believe it was one year ago.

This emblem goes back to a weekend in March which I spent with my wife Christina.  This particular weekend was spent at a ministry retreat, “retreat” being the optimal word.   To say that we were on edge would have been an understatement; raw may better describe us.  We felt spent: emotionally, physically, spiritually, and relationally.  Our marriage was strained to the point of fracture and it was my job in ministry that was applying the pressure. 

We were attending a Simply Youth Conference in Indianapolis. We had dropped our kids off at my parents and made the long ride up to Indy full of questions for God.  I say questions but we really had only one: How could you?  How could you put such a clear call in our hearts only to set us in contradicting circumstances?  How could you put us in a ministry that would likely cost us our family?  How could you be so indifferent to our prayers?  We weren’t exactly expecting any answers but we were hoping for some. 

The speaker that evening was John Stumbo.   Prior to his speaking there was a brief worship set.  The lights were turned down, the amplifiers were turned up and worship band led us into the state of reflection and prayer.  During this time the moderator asked us to look under our seats where we found small

containers of play dough.  He asked us to mold an image of what we felt God was doing in our lives: cheesy.  Christina’s chair didn’t have one (which was okay because she was in no mood to play with play dough).  I formed mine into a little boat with a rudder and without a means to steer.  Any pre-schooler would be wildly impressed.  I concocted some story about how God wants me to trust him to steer my life.  I was pretty proud of my little art project until Christina, not paying attention, brought her hand down on top of it and flattened it.  “Hey”, I protested, “you smashed God’s word in my life.” 

“It doesn’t matter”, she returned somewhat caustically.  “That’s what He’s doing to my life; He’s smashing it”.  At that moment the lights dimmed and the speaker took the platform. 

Stumbo is a tall, thin man with a finely delineated goatee and hoarse, raspy voice.  He shared his testimony.  While pastoring a large and successful church in Washington state, he had become ill.  Actually, for no known reason his body decided to reject his muscles, all of them.  His muscles liquefied and over the course of three weeks were expelled from his body through his urine.  When the ordeal was over he wasn’t even capable of swallowing food.  He had been reduced from the physique of an ultra-marathoner at the top of his game to a gaunt and helpless paraplegic. 

The doctors could offer no explanation and very little hope.  Once stabilized, he began a program of physical therapy.  Over the course of the next two years he went from sitting up to moving his arms and finally beginning to speak.  Eventually, beyond the doctor’s hopes, Stumbo made a full and miraculous recovery.  During his ordeal he said that he would often ask God why he had put him and his family through so much pain.  He questioned “Where are you in this?”  One night God answered him in a dream. 

Stumbo watched as piece of clay was molded into a pot on a potter’s wheel.  He was asked if he understood what this vision meant.  Being familiar with his Bible we replied that he understood that God was molding his life into a beautiful vessel.  Then the two hands smashed it.  “It’s a do-over John.  I’m making your life a do-over”.  My mouth dropped as I remembered my own clay and Christina’s words. My eyes shot to her to see if she had caught the same meaning.  It was clear that she had, her hands covered her face as she wept. 

This boat reminds me that my call to ministry does not belong to me.  It is God’s call, God’s ministry, and God will develop it according to His will.  We have been given a do-over.  Three weeks later I was offered a full scholarship to study at Asbury Theological Seminary.  We were offered a family unit in Kalas village and our house sold 30 days before we were scheduled to move in.  In all this, God has demonstrated that He will fulfill our callings, according to his purposes, in his way, and time.

Caleb (and Naomi's) indoor snowman

And one year later, we remain convinced.  A beautiful do over.  An amazing work of God.  Our own little miracle to look back on and see God's providential hand in our lives.  He used the voices of strangers, family and friends to confirm His leading and we are so glad that we followed.  One year ago we had no idea that this morning Luke would be heading out to Solomon's to meet with a student from the University and just share about God and in his second semester of MDiv study. That I would be heading into the ATS childcare area to teach kids about the love of our God and starting a Master's of Arts in Ministry program.  That our girls would be home (from another snow day) surrounded with new friends and loving adults in a fabulous community.  That Caleb would be building snowman in a bathroom in a house in Kalas.

We had no idea.  But God did.  One year ago.