The Lighter Side of Black Friday

This year, maybe more than any other year, I have heard a lot of negativity and complaining about Black Friday.  Lots of comments of materialism and idolatry.  Memes about there only being “one Black Friday with eternal savings.”  Facebook statuses about how crazy people are to fight over things and how evil stores are for opening on Thanksgiving night.

And while I might agree that it stinks that stores open on Thanksgiving (no, I didn’t shop on Thursday) and there is a certain level of excess greed and overt materialism on Black Friday, I remain unconvinced that lashing out against “the machine” is the best use of our time and our words.  Let me tell you about Black Friday from my perspective.

As soon as I was able to drive, my sister and I made our first trek out into the madness.  After our Thanksgiving feast, we scoured the ads with markers and notebooks, planned out our route and strategy and set our alarms for some crazy hour of the morning.  Waking up in the dark, heading out on our own gave a certain sense of excitement and independence that we had not experienced until that time.  We got to the mall before stores opened and were treated to hot chocolate and donuts as we waited.  We never witnessed a fight, a screaming match, foul language, and greedy, pushing people.  On the contrary, we experienced laughter, cooperation, excitement, and holiday joy.  When doors opened, yes, we all rushed in, laughing and scrambling to our desired sale.  I saw men standing at displays and handing vacuum after vacuum to waiting old women and tired moms.  I saw women graciously helping one another find the right color scarf or the jeans that are the right size. 

My sister and I on our last Black Friday foray - 2011 

After shopping until we just about dropped, my sister and I always went to McDonalds and split a #2 (two cheeseburgers, large fry, and soda) before heading to the mall for a Christmas matinee and purchase of wrapping materials.  Heading home in the dark, gawking at the newly-lit Christmas lights and listening to new Christmas cds, we spent the evening wrapping presents, eating Thanksgiving leftovers and laughing… a lot.  Black Friday for us was NOT about the stuff.  It was about each other.  The memories, the time, the joy of being together.

This year, I didn’t rush out the door in the wee hours of the morning (it was 7 am) and I didn’t go with my sister (I went with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law) and I didn’t eat McDonald’s cheeseburger (it was a McMuffin) and I didn’t come back and wrap presents (I put them in a black trash bag and hid them in the back of my van).  BUT, I tell you what else I didn’t see – I didn’t see angry, greedy mobs and I didn’t see pushing, shoving people and I didn’t see nasty, cruel materialists.

I DID see a lot of laughter and friendliness and friends hanging out together and families spending time together and excitement and anticipation and just plain old happy times.  For myself, I had fun finding bargains with my family and sharing delicious coffee and smiling at strangers humming Christmas carols and whistling holiday tunes.

Perspective is important.  I’m not saying that all those bad things people complained about all over facebook didn’t happen.  I’m sure they did somewhere and I’m sure that is the story that will end up on the evening news and all over facebook top trending hashtags.  But I’m willing to bet that there were a great deal more happy times that aren’t newsworthy that happened across America today.  Things that were a lot more grounded in friendship, love, and togetherness than in materialism and greed. 

And here’s the thing.  Maybe on Black Friday it’s more pronounced but the reality is all year long we live in a materialistic society.   Every single day of the year, we have more STUFF than we could ever need.  And that’s just how it is right now.  To judge by just one day is a basically flawed logic.  It would be more realistic to address the situation as a whole.  So do we just never shop?  Never give gifts?  Never allow for moments of buying, spending, and giving?  For most of us the answer is, of course, we will do those things.  But what is our heart in them?

I didn’t go out today with a heart to get as much STUFF as possible to fill some kind of void in my life.  I had a list and a budget.  I went to get some Christmas gifts that would bless my husband and bless my kids (and bless my wallet at the same time).  I went to spend some time with my family, to share in the excitement of the holiday season, and to just have a good time.  And I did.  And so did a lot of others.  And that’s not newsworthy or sensational but that is Black Friday to me.

A heart of greed.  A heart of judgment.  That’s what makes any Friday black.  Regardless of whether you buy anything that day or not.

Refocus

Every have one of "those" days?  Of course you do.  We all do.  Well, yesterday.... yesterday was one of those days.  One of the days where the morning starts out on the wrong foot and from that point, recovery seems impossible.  Yesterday, I wrote this:

 My daughter (Hannah) made Honors Chorus (yay) and today is their big day. THIS MORNING WAS A DISASTER! 

She didn't lay out any of the things I told her to the night before. When I saw her outfit she was wearing a fancy red shirt that was way too small, black pants that were too small and blue tennis shoes. I told her there was no way she was leaving the house like that and to go change into her nicer shoes and clothes that fit. That led to a bout of crying about how she can't find her shoes, she lost the belt to the other pants, and oh, she couldn't have her lunch in a regular lunch box (it had to be a paper bag) and her water bottle had to be something she could throw away (not the water bottle I had ready for her) and we needed to be at the school at by 7:45 not 8 am like I'd been told and her coat was missing and... you get the picture. 

With no time to spare, we threw on a another shirt (that at least matched the tennis shoes), dumped her lunch into Walmart bag, gave her one of my old coats (which was way too big but whatever), poured the water into used empty water bottles (don't judge.. I am ashamed), ran to the car and drove at speeds above the limits as I lectured her on why its important to keep her room clean and obey me so mornings like this don't happen, etc, etc, etc. 

We got to the school, tore out of the car, raced inside to find her teacher and then... for the first time that morning I really looked at my daughter. Lord forgive me (yes, I am crying right now). I saw before me a scared, nervous, fearful baby girl fifth grader about to leave me for the first time on an all day trip hours from our house to sing with 100 strangers for thousands more strangers (and she's trying out for a solo) and as she walked away with her teacher looking back at me, my heart broke. 

Why, oh why, didn't I pray with her on the ride to school? Why didn't I tell her how proud I was and how much I loved her and that everything was going to be all right? Why didn't I hug her close and bless her like I do EVERY OTHER morning? Why didn't I really see her until it was too late? 

I sit her in my office at work, tears streaming down my face. My mommy heart is breaking. Oh, I know she'll be fine. She's amazing. She's gonna rock. And I know I'll see her tonight, and I'll hold her and tell her how sorry I am and how much I love her and how I know I messed up. And I know we will both learn from this experience. But for this moment, all I can see is her big brown eyes, filled with trepidation and fear, screaming, "Mommy, don't leave me! I need you!" and I walked away. And my heart is screaming, "What did you do? What did you do?"

So, have you ever had one of those days?  I felt like a total failure at mommyhood.  And a family minister at a church?  Forget about it.  I cried through the morning.  I prayed through the day.  I waited for 8:30 pm when the concert would be over and I could wrap my arms around my precious child and say, "I'm so sorry!"  Imagine my relief when the young woman that met me that night was anything but sad.  In fact, she was downright giddy.

She'd had a great day.  She was nervous yes, but she faced it and had fun.  She hung out with old friends and made some new friends.  She sang with 200 other kids from all over Kentucky and she beamed from the top row in her too short pants and her blue tennis shoes wearing the hot pink tee-shirt she'd been given by the school (she hates pink).    When I finally got a word in edgewise to say, "Hey, I'm sorry about this morning.  I messed up.  I should have prayed with you,"  her response was, "No, you were right.  I should have obeyed you and cleaned my room."  Um, what?  Parenting win?  Lord, I'm confused.

And He said, "Do you truly think that your failure would keep me from doing My work in your daughter's life or that her lack of obedience to you would keep me from doing My work in yours?  You both have room to grow and I will use you both to do My work.  Trust me.  I'm bigger than your mistakes.  Let Me do My thing in the middle of your mess because my best work comes in the form of redemption."

So, it is with that heart, I announce that I am starting a new blog.  It will not replace this one as it will have an entirely different purpose.  As you know, if you've read this blog for any time at all, I have a genuine heart and I believe, call from God to serve in encouraging family ministry and discipleship in the home.  Over the past few years, I've watched the area of family ministry grow in popularity as studies have bolstered the need for the home to be the primary place of discipleship.  I have also seen fellow ministers and churches attempt to start family ministry and have it seemingly "not work" in their environment.


Because I firmly believe that the ideas that fuel family ministry are ordained by God, I also believe that family ministry not only can but absolutely should "work" in any church.  It is my hope that this new blog at www.refocusministry.org will provide a place of support, equipping, resources and encouragement for churches who are embarking on the transitional journey from traditional age-segregated ministry to intergenerational family ministry.  All those family ministry posts you've seen here?  Finally going to have an outlet there.  And I go into this knowing I will make mistakes.  I will fail at times.  But I am also learning that my God is bigger than my failures.  And my prayer is that He will use this blog/ministry as a place for others to come, to rest, to find hope and to keep moving forward in their own faith journey with Jesus.

I guess in a way this is my formal announcement that the new blog is up and running but it is also a request that you check it out, send me your feedback, let me know what you are looking for as ministers, parents, and friends and help me craft a website that is truly useful to others in God's kingdom.

As for Miss Hannah.. she will be doing some bedroom cleaning today and as for me... I will be praying her through it.  Blessings to you as you fail, and grow, and follow a God who will always be BIGGER.

Like a Child

Wings.  A mermaid tail.  Cheetah legs.
If you've seen the video going around facebook right now where people are asked a simple question, you know that these are some of the answers.  If you've not seen the video, here's the link http://aplus.com/a/jubilee-project-comfortbale-one-question and if you don't plan to, here's what happens.

A group of adults and kids are asked a simple question: What would you change about your body?  The adults gave the answers I expected.  They shared things they didn't like about themselves. Stretch marks, big ears, foreheads and of course, I was naming my own things off in my head.  Then the kids had a turn.  Unlike the adults, they didn't see anything wrong with the bodies they had, but they could think of some pretty cool add-ons like "cheetah legs so I can run really fast" and "wings so I can fly" and of course, "a mermaid tail."

Of course the moral of the video was that we adults need to stop judging our bodies so harshly and being so critical and see our potential for more.  But after I watched the video and scrolled away, I couldn't stop thinking about it.  All I kept thinking was, "When?"  When does it happen?  At what age to we stop believing that our bodies are amazing and capable of wonderful things and start seeing our flaws and critiquing our imperfections.

You see, I have two beautiful girls and one adorable son.  And one of them is starting to cross that line and ask questions about her perceived flaws.  She's begun playing the comparison game.  She has begun to see the world's definition of beauty and she has started to measure herself by that ruler.

Caleb on the other hand told me today he can fly.

Okay, going to switch directions now.  Stay with me, it will make sense in a minute

Once when Jesus was speaking to his disciples, he told them that the kingdom of God belongs to such as these and pointed to a child.  He said that unless they had faith like a child, they wouldn't enter the kingdom of God.

What is it about kids that would make Him say that?  Maybe it is their uncanny ability to believe; to see beyond reality to possibility.  To look beyond flaws to miracles.  To focus past the limitations to the realm of expectations.  And it's not fake.  It's genuine.  It's real.  It's faith.  It's the assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

That video reminded me of the precious part of childhood. The flaws are still invisible, but they won't be for long.  How can we preserve that in our faith?  How can that translate into our churches and our homes?  Maybe just maybe, we have got to stop focusing on all our flaws.  Things like not my gift, not my calling, not good enough.  Or the flaws in our churches like not enough money, not enough space, not enough volunteers.  Or maybe in others like not holy enough, not mature enough, not loving enough.

Maybe having faith like a child is believing that sharing the truth of the gospel still changes lives.  That the Word of God is still living and active.  That the church is still the hands and feet of Christ.  Faith that sees past this natural world to a world that our minds can only begin to imagine.

That same daughter who is starting to compare herself with the world in terms of her physical beauty is also starting to measure her spirit too.  Around her she starting to see that it's not "cool" to be a Christian.  The values she holds are starting to look like "big ears" and "stretch marks" in comparison to the values portrayed in the media.  She's starting to understand that what she believes will make her stand out and how she lives her life could get her funny looks down the road.

As her mom, I want to scream to her, "Don't listen to them!  You were made for more.  Your spirit can fly.  You are beautiful!"  And I realize... the loudest voice she can hear is the one I live in front of her.  I need to have faith like a child for her.  I need to live a life that doesn't listen to the lies myself and believes that my spirit can soar on wings like eagles.  I need to be that place that she can look to and no matter what the world says, show her that her childlike faith was always right and she can dream big with God.

But it's bigger than just me and her.  There's an entire generation of kids that right now know that
God can make a blind man see, let a crippled man walk, loves us more than life itself and will do anything to be our friend.  And it is up to us Church, to show to them loudly that is true!  We have to stop telling them all our flaws and start showing them we believe and we live like we do.  We do things like pray with them, serve with them, worship with them, and love others recklessly with them.  Because if we don't give them something to measure life by, the world most certainly will.  We can't change the messages they will get from them but we can most certainly make sure ours comes through loud and clear.

Walk by faith.  Not by sight.  And fly.

Welcome Life

DISCLAIMER:  This is one of my KidMin/Family Ministry posts I sometimes hijack this blog with because I want to and I can because I gave myself permission. You have been fairly warned. 

It was 2:30 pm.  I had about 30 minutes to get a walk in before the kids got home from school.  The sky was blue, the air was crisp, the sun was shining and I joyfully headed out the door.  The neighborhood was quiet.  You could hear hammers in the distance working on the church that is renovating on the next hill.  Birds were chirping, cars were still, and Kalas Village looked dormant like it was experiencing a lazy afternoon nap.

As I returned from my walk at 3:00 pm all I could think was, “Get ready Kalas.  The busses are coming!”

Ten minutes later, it looked like a switch got turned on.  The quiet streets were suddenly alive.  Chirping birds were replaced by shouting, laughing, chattering children running, jumping, and skipping down the street. Doors of houses flew open, backpacks were deposited, snacks consumed, homework done… well, maybe… and the kids were back out again.  Within the next 30 minutes the playground at the Community House swelled with moving bodies.  A game of softball, a game of 4 Square and a bunch of kids jumping rope took over the asphalt slabs where one day hopefully tennis courts and a basketball court will stand.  Young kiddos played closer to home on bikes, trikes, scooters, and strollers.  The Village had indeed awakened.  Life was evident.

The family minister in me could not help but wonder…

Is this what happened to the church when we removed the kids from the midst of the congregation?  When we, with all good intention, moved them and their energy and their laughter and their tears to more appropriate locations that better suited their age and needs?  Is it possible that we unintentionally put the church to sleep?

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that every church that has Sunday school is out of line.  I happen to be a big believer in KidMin and in youth ministry.  What I am saying is that maybe, just maybe, we’ve taken it a little too far.  Because let’s be honest, don’t we love to see children praying at the altar?  Aren’t we blessed when they share in communion?  Or we hear that enthusiastic albeit quite loud “Amen!” at the end of the pastor’s prayer?

Kids are loud.  They are full of energy.  They laugh at inappropriate times.  What they call a whisper is a few decibels under what we call an explosion.  They run when they should walk.  They fidget when they should sit still.  They ask questions and sing loudly (off key) and cry for no reason at all.

“Then Jesus put a little child among them.  Taking the child in His arms, he said to them, “Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes Me, and anyone who welcomes Me, welcomes not only Me, but also my Father who sent me.”

It does beg the question, have we welcomed Christ and the Father in this way into our churches, into our services and into our sacred spaces?  I’m pretty sure kids in Jesus’ day acted a lot like, well, kids.  And yet, He tells us that if we welcome these messy, loud, and often sticky kids on his behalf, or as other translations say, in His name, it is just like welcoming Him and welcoming the Father.

It was lovely to walk in the quiet of the day.  I enjoyed the moment.  It was also wonderful to hear the sounds of life echo through my home until dusk.  I’m willing to bet we need both in our lives to truly experience life.  And I’m also willing to bet, we need both in the church too.

“Then Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to Me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’”

The Heart of Home

I love to write, I really do.  I enjoy sitting down to the computer and typing out my thoughts.  For me it's kinda like putting a puzzle together, making each word fit just right so that it paints the right bigger picture to reveal my heart.

So, my dear friends, you might be thinking, if you like to write so much, WHY HAVE YOU NOT WRITTEN A BLOG IN OVER A MONTH?  Ah friends, it is too cliche, it's not you; it's me.

Here's the thing.  I am also a big fan of the moderation movement; you know, everything in moderation.  My classes this year are not so much fans of this particular viewpoint.  My professors are more along the lines of thinking that if you are not writing, constantly, at all times, you must not be learning and therefore, you should probably have another assignment for writing.

In other words, my brain has been fully engaged in writing, just not writing here. 

Enjoying a "date" hike together

But today is Saturday and on this Saturday I am not driving to Columbus, Louisville or Indianapolis as I have for the previous month.  I'm not leading a small group or getting my shopping done or writing a paper.  I'm excited to say that on this Saturday, my calendar is looking delightfully empty and aside from having some friends over for dinner, it is open to all possibilities including writing a blog.

Hannah and fellow babysitter
Olivia carving the winner

From that long-winded intro you might have guessed that the last month for the Embrees has been a busy but full one.  My job/career/calling has had me busy learning and sharing at conferences.  Luke's classes, especially intermediate Greek, have had him studying, translating and working hard.  Hannah has fully leaned into the role of 5th grader "top dog" of the school and been chosen for a part in an all-state chorus (only 10 5th graders were chosen), joined the Music Makers of Wilmore Elementary, and is enjoying  participating in Jump Rope Club while also running her own business as a Mommy's Helper in Kalas Village.  Naomi is also in Jump Rope Club, so jump roping is her current passion, but she's also in love with our new Community House which has a room dedicated to art, so she's pretty much in heaven there.  And Caleb, our sweet boy, is so excited to go to school through the week to work on his speech and most importantly, ride the bus, and mom and dad are excited that we are officially a DIAPER-FREE house!!

Getting ready to share our Highs and Lows

Our life is busy but I am so glad to say that this semester I think we have grown more as a family than any before.  On Wednesday nights, our church offers a Family Faith Formation night where the entire family stays together and learns ways to engage together around discipleship and spiritual formation.  While Caleb often needs to go to the adjoining room to play, the rest of us have really enjoyed the times there of growing as a family spiritually and that has spilled into our home.  We have had some wonderful faith talks, times of prayer, moments of growth and stillness of worship in our home.  My kids are never more excited than when Mom and Dad declare a "family night."  They are never more engaged than we we spend time with them one-on-one.  And when we get to hear at dinner their "highs and lows" and what God is speaking to their hearts, we are never more blessed.  I feel like our chance to go our separate ways during the day brings even more meaning and purpose to our times together.  Even Caleb can't wait to share at dinner, even if all he ever says is that his high was "going to 'cool."

Naomi and Caleb playing

When I step back and look at where we are for this season of our life as a family, I smile.  I see joy.  I see growth.  I see peace.  Sure the sisters bicker, the brother bothers, the father fusses, the mother mutters and at times we're all a little on edge.  But even in those moments, Christ is welcomed into our space, into our good, bad and ugly moments, and His presence is tangible in our home.  Seeing my kids live into that more and more and seeing Luke and I finding our strength and our vision in Him, brings such rest to my soul.

So, it's unlikely you will find all of us sitting around the house for too long.  But when you do, you'll see something pretty special.  Something blessed.  Something worth writing about... even if I didn't "have" to write today.  May your home too be filled with the love of Christ and, as we pray at every Faith Faith Formation Night, may you sleep in peace and may you learn to see God even when your eyes are closed.  Have a blessed Saturday friends!

Family, Faith, Formation and a Scarecrow

There's a lot to be said about family.  Trust me, I've been reading and writing about it for weeks.  There's much more to be said about faith.  Trust me, I've been reading and writing about it for years.  Formation... yeah, you get the idea.  A newer word to my vocabulary but one that has occupied a great deal of mental space over the past year.

So, when our church recently re-launched our Wednesday night programming, we decided to use that time to begin a Family Faith Formation event where families come together and engage around the ideas of "filling our toolbox" with tools to grow in faith and love with each other.  Our family has been joining with other families on Wednesday nights to have some fun together and spend some time intentionally in God's Word and growing spiritually together.  It's loud.  It's messy.  It's basically like all of our living rooms squashed into our elementary room.  It's family life in all its glory and its not-so glory.

I had my concerns about how effective these nights would be.  Would the kids be too distracting?  Would the parents appreciate the tools and resources or would they be too focused on their kids' behavior to absorb anything?  Would the kids be able to gain from the experience or would they just come and go because Mom and Dad made them? Could an event that ranged in age from 1-ahem, older than that, actually lead to Family. Faith. Formation?

My answer came in the form of a scarecrow.  Yup, a scarecrow.  And not even a very attractive scarecrow.  A rather unattractive scarecrow with a paper face and grass hands.

Yesterday, I was busy cooking some meals for some new moms and asked Hannah if she would please take Caleb to the playground.  This was the equivalent of me asking her to scale Mt. Everest, or so I assume from her reaction.  I told her it would be really helpful for me if she could just please keep him occupied until I got the meals done.  Grudgingly I heard her call out, "Caaaa-lllllllleeeebbb!!!" as she slunk out the door.

Grateful, I returned to my task (happily because you all know I love the therapy of the kitchen).  Next think I know Caleb comes running into the house yelling something about clothes and crows.  Okay, he's happy, I'm happy.  Then Hannah walks by with marshmallow roasters and a cornucopia filled with fake grapes.  Whatever, she's happy, I'm happy.  A small crowd of children started gathering out side of my home collecting sticks and grass.  I'm hearing talk of paper faces and stronger sticks.  Finally, my cooking done, I head outside to find this little man.

What in the world does this have to do with Family Faith Formation?  Simply this.  I walked over to see what they had done and Hannah smiled broadly at me as I looked at her and said, "You pursued peace."  She nodded and began to explain quickly all the attributes of the little scarecrow eerily similar to my son in height and fashion.

You see the night before, we studied Psalm 34:14, "Turn away from evil.  Seek peace and pursue it."  We talked about how peace wasn't something that always came naturally.  Hannah in fact pointed out that you had to chase it, choose it, and sometimes make it be.  That day, she had to choose peace.  She had to choose to "be" in that moment with Caleb rather than just grudgingly submit to Mom's request.  She pursued peace.  She made a scarecrow.  The result?  Happy mom, happy boy, happy Hannah, happy neighborhood kids, happy friends walking by smiling at our "scarecrow", happy memories... peace in our home.

Family.  Faith.  Formation. It all came together quite nicely in the image of a scarecrow.  Take the time to talk about your faith with your kids.  Our conversation lasted a moment.  The impact will last a lifetime.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Grace, Family and Community - Embree Asbury adventure, Year #2

I cannot tell you how many false starts this blog post has had.  I am finding it hard to process, let alone, share all the things going on in the Embree home at the start of this new academic year.  As I shared in my last blog, the starting of a new job, classes for all of us (yes, even Caleb will be going to school this year), and a change in our norm is shaping us in new ways and bending us in others.

A family at study

I can tell you this: God is good and we are convinced now more than ever that He is at work in our lives individually and as a family to equip us for "good works prepared in advance" for the glory of God.  It is a humbling place to be.  As I read scholars and students who have studied families and ministry for years, I am humbled by how little I know and how much I have to learn.  As Luke takes verses in English and "parses" them in Greek, we are amazed at how God uses language to share with us His love.  As Hannah served at our church's Manna Meal, she was enthralled with how God could use her hands and feet to bless strangers and embody His love.  As Naomi writes her songs and dances her dances, she is excited about God's creation and beauty and movement and melody.  And as Caleb climbs up in our laps, hugs us and says, "I love you" and then "Mommy, Jesus loves you too!" he is recognizing that still small voice that speaks to him even now in his youth.

And we all grow deeper into this thing called grace lived out through family and shared in the heart of community.

I will never look at the word "family" the same again, after the classes I am taking.  Does family refer only to those you are related to by blood?  Or does family expand to those who serve functions in your life as caregiver, mentor, and friend?  Does family mean you share a last name or a common purpose?  Does it entail biological markers or heartfelt bonds?  

I think our family is learning the answer to these questions is ... yes.  It does.  Our family of the flesh, both near and far, and our family of the heart, bound by the love of Jesus through the Holy Spirit, has been shaped and molded by these experiences we now undergo.  Distance has tested love and love stood the test.  Time has challenged connections but it lost to friendships forged long ago.  We have grown our family and in doing so, grown ourselves.  

Luke reading Scripture at chapel

This may all sound like the ramblings of a word-weary seminary student who is currently writing on average 3 papers a week or, for those of you who have experienced this type of growth, a familiar sentiment.  As I attended chapel today and added my voice to the student body singing that there were "10,000 reasons" to praise our God and as I walked across campus greeting friends and neighbors and checked Facebook to connect with those farther away, I could not help but once again be thankful for ... my family, here, there, biological and "of the heart," by structural definition or functional, in spirit and in flesh... my family.    Whether we've shared years of shared life moments or days of shared new laughter, I find myself feeling quite blessed and quite rich in love and community.

This year at Asbury has already been so affirming of why we are here.  I don't know what the future holds I only know we are here for now to learn and grow.  We've been challenged in chapel this year to take a posture of humility and allow God to shake our self-reliance and shape our Christ-reliance.  As I look to the year ahead, I don't know how else we could approach it but with our arms open wide, our hands held up in prayer and our knees bent before God's throne, relying on the prayers of those who love us and the grace of our Savior to see us through  And really, is there any better place to be?  

So thank you all for seeing us through Year #1.  Here's to a grace-filled Year #2.  And to usher it in, this song has played over and over in my heart..

O for a thousand tongues to sing, My great Redeemer’s praise,
The glories of my God and King, The triumphs of His grace!

My gracious Master and my God, Assist me to proclaim,
To spread through all the earth abroad the honors of Thy name.

It's that time again

Last year we were introduced to a word that, while we had heard it before, did not carry with it any true weight or deep meaning in our lives. We could give you a textbook definition of the word and even explain it accurately if we had been asked the meaning.  But we could not have in any way anticipated what the word would one day meant to us.  Today, this one word defines for us everything from life circumstances to emotional states of mind to headaches to opportunities to change things we've always wanted to.  And that word is... transition.

I always thought that was a nice word that described leaves changing from green to red in the fall or fashions going from tight-rolled jeans to bell bottoms.  But we learned quickly with some help from other transitioning families and well-experienced ministry pros that transition is a whole lot more than that.  Sometimes it's exciting.  New adventures.  New people.  New places to discover.  Sometimes it's exhausting.  Awkward moments.  Frustrating schedules.  Throbbing headaches.  Sometimes it's over quickly.  Sometimes it takes a while.  And sometimes, it takes more than a while and just when you thought it was over, it just takes a new turn.

Our family has found ourselves in transition once again.  We have adjusted well to life here in Kentucky.  Great schools, wonderful neighbors, and a routine we were just getting comfortable in...sooooo... it was time for a shake-up.  And doors opened.  And we walked through.  I started my new job at NUMC as the director of children's and family ministry.  Luke accepted a position as the vice president of leadership on the Asbury student council and substantially cut back his hours at the library so he can be home while I work.  The girls decided to move on to their next grade level with flying colors and Caleb looks to be starting preschool this year.  And..oh yeah, I have officially started my master's program through Wesley Seminary as of Thursday.

It's a lot of... transition.

In a way, we find ourselves right back where we were last year at this exact time.  While we don't have to figure out where to buy groceries or how to pay our bills, we are navigating the halls of a new church and adjusting to a new schedule and norm.  When we first moved here, we heard a talk famously known as "The Transition Talk" here on

campus by the Asbury Vice President of Community Formation, Dr. Marilyn Elliot, who compared the time of transition to an ice rink.  She said to imagine that in an ice rink, furniture had been set up and frozen into the ice.  It can be moved but it takes a great deal of work and frustration.  However, during a time of transition, it's like the ice is melting and things are slushy.  It's much easier to move things around and evaluate if things need to go or stay and where they best fit.  But it has to be done quickly before the ice starts freezing again and the furniture is once again immobile.

That is where the Embree family once again finds ourselves.  We're moving things around, figuring out what works, what we want to add and what we need to take away.  We are experiencing all those things I described earlier: excitement, exhaustion and time-consumption.  But I was so blessed this weekend to be reminded of something by my new professor, Dr. Colleen Derr.  She asked all of us gathered in the new master's cohort, a simple question; "Why are you here?"  Simply put, most of us answered the same, "We feel called by God..." in one way or another.  

We don't find ourselves here because we are bored or because we need to do more to make ourselves feel good.  Neither Luke or I would have ever imagined that we'd find ourselves here.  But we truly do believe we are following God's leading into ministry.  I imagine Paul experienced quite a bit of transition between the time he got knocked off his high horse and his journey into ministry.  I'm sure Peter and Andrew experienced it as they left the nets and the seas and started leading the first churches.  

Please pray for us as we navigate these new waters.  Pray for wisdom as we determine what stays and what goes.  Pray that we find our new norm quickly and easily.  And pray that above all, we seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness, that His kingdom would grow, and our family will remain rooted in His love.  We are so blessed to have so many praying for us and speaking into our lives.  Thank you for walking with us!

Big Words I Don't Understand

Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate and Yellow #5 - Yum!

So, in my attempt to be more healthy, I have been trying very hard not to eat anything that contains big words I can't pronounce let alone understand.  You know, those words that show up on the list of ingredients with 20+ letters in them and no semblance to something you would actually find naturally occurring in creation.  And it's not easy, let me tell you.  Those big words and ingredients with numbers and hydrogenated oils creep into a lot of things.  At this point, I'm pretty much trying not to eat anything that comes in a plastic or foil package.

That said, I also started my new job this week and I've noticed that there are a lot of "big" words that we sometimes throw around in church that are often hard to understand or don't make any sense to the average "consumer."   Since I work in Kid's Ministry you would think that wasn't so much the case but let me throw out a few: "Family Ministry" Hmm, so what exactly does that mean?  You minister to families?  Isn't that kinda what the whole church is supposed to do?  "Children's Ministry"  So what is that exactly?  Babysitting for kids while parents go to church?  Wouldn't that be "parent ministry"?  How about "Volunteer?"  Don't you actually mean guilt trip into doing something because it's your job to make sure there are enough teachers and helpers?

Sure, we can pronounce these words but do we really know what they mean?  Or are they just words we use in our ministry circles, and nod, and assume we all mean the same thing?  Well, as I pondered this very thing, I remembered something I'd written called "Why Children's Ministry?"

Children’s Ministry
These words conjure up all sorts of thoughts and images in our minds; some good and some not so good. Children reciting Bible verses, singing choruses, having fun at VBS and recounting Bible stories are generally good thoughts. Finding volunteers, creating adequate space, acquiring funding, balancing schedules, managing behavior... did I mention finding volunteers? Unfortunately, most of the times, the images brought up by the mention of this particular ministry are less than favorable leading many, including myself, to fall back on the age-old “Christian” cliché of “It’s not my gift.” 

I am often asked, “Why did you go into Kid’s Ministry? You must really love kids.” While I would never say I don’t love kids, I would never have described myself in the past as a “kid person.” My undergraduate degree is in secondary education, not elementary, and I taught juniors and seniors, not kindergartners or first-graders. One thing I did feel strongly was a call to ministry and to building the kingdom of God. When I started serving in Children’s Ministry in 2011, one thing became clear to me: if I really wanted to grow God’s kingdom, I had to make Children’s ministry a priority. There simply was no way around that fact. 

In his book, “Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions”, George Barna of the Barna Research groups sites the following statistics: 32% of all people who come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior at a young age continue in or come back to their faith in their lifetime. Alternately, only 6% of adults without prior exposure to Christ will ever come into relationship with Him. These findings are both alarming and challenging. Barna points out in the same book that the majority of churches spend the majority of their ministry budget on programs targeted towards adults. Even most children’s programs state that a major part of their purpose is to entice the parents of attending children to begin visiting or attending the church.  

However, the statistics above paint a different picture for churches who are serious about building the kingdom of God. Children’s and Family Ministry, directed towards and dedicated to children and to strengthening the family, is the number one way to build God’s kingdom and to bring people into the body of Christ. Unfortunately, many churches view Children’s Ministry as a means to an end or a necessity for parents and they tailor their program in such a way, to make it appealing to adults rather than formatted for discipling children and mentoring families.

You see, this is what it comes down to for me.  It's not about Children's Ministry, or Family Ministry, or volunteering.  It's not about Sunday School attendance or Children's Church curriculum or even about a good Children's Ministry director.  It's about the church taking seriously Jesus' commission and "Going" and "Making" disciples of ALL men, without regard to age or development.  It's about "welcoming a child in His name" because that is the same as welcoming Christ.  It's about seed-planting and fruit-bearing for eternity, not putting in your time for a few hours on Sunday.

And that's why I am passionate about Kid's Ministry.  Because when I talk to adults of all ages and I ask where they first saw Jesus, first came to know Him or first made a profession of faith, the vast, overwhelming majority of them start by saying, "When I was a kid..."  Whether their path from childhood was straight and narrow or winding and wide, somehow those seeds planted in childhood found life in adulthood and eternity in Christ.

Do you want to grow the kingdom of God?  Invest in a child.  Show them God's love.  Speak truth to their hearts.  Let them see the awe and mystery of the Word and the Word made flesh.  BE the church to the youngest members of the church.  It doesn't take a special gift or a unique call.  If you are a believer, you have the call and God will supply the gift as needed.  It doesn't take "big" words with ambiguous meanings. Just don't neglect the chance to welcome Christ into your life as you welcome a child in His name.

Old T-shirt and Jeans

You know that feeling at the end of a long day and you get home, head upstairs, get out of your work clothes and reach for your favorite pair of jeans and the oldest T-shirt you own?  You shrug into them and suddenly life is a little bit more comfortable and you breathe a little bit easier and your mind switches into a lower gear as you begin to wind down from your day.

Maryland Blue Crabs and Family
Best Dinner Ever

For some reason, that's what coming to Pennsylvania has felt like this time for me.  It's been a full year since we moved to Kentucky and started seminary life.  It has been a good year.  We have made friendships that will last a lifetime.  We have learned so much about God and love and life and hope.  We've also learned what Kroger to shop at, where the library is, how to get the best and freshest donuts at Fitches IGA, where we can hike and where we can play, and why school starts so early in Kentucky.  

But that's part of why coming back to Pennsylvania feels so comfortable.  As I told Luke on our first
day here, "I can drive these roads mindlessly.  I know exactly where I'm going and how I"m going to get there."  My synapses don't have to fire as much as they do in Kentucky where I still say to myself, "Hmm, what would happen if I turn here?"  I walked into Walmart last night at 9 pm and ran into three friends from church, high school and work.  I went to church and was surrounded by a congregation who knew me, my kids, and my husband.  I ate crabs with my parents and siblings in the house we grew up in and knew where all the utensils went and where to grab a tasty drink.  It's comfortable.  It's familiar.  It's second nature.

Grammie, PopPop and the kids

As we wrap things up in Pennsylvania, it is a little hard to think about leaving behind this comfort and heading back to a place that while now more familiar still isn't completely broken in.  It's hard to say good-bye again to friends and family and to not know exactly when our paths will cross again.  It's never easy to say "so long" to familiar things and comfort zones.  But that doesn't mean it isn't good.  If there is one thing I have become convinced of in our year in Kentucky, we have heard and followed God's voice.  We are exactly where He wants us for this time.  And He is with us every step of the way.

The thing about that favorite T-shirt and pair of jeans you have hanging in your closet or folded in your drawer is... you'll never let it go.  Unless the shirt gives out on you or the jeans fray apart, it's likely they will remain within your reach.  I love the people in Pennsylvania, family and friends (and some who have moved to New York but still visited us in PA) and it is the greatest comfort to me knowing that they are always within my reach.  As I read recently, "True friendship isn't about being inseparable; it's being separated and nothing changes."  The relationship is greater than the distance, the love stronger than the sadness, and the history longer than the miles.

Campfire, S'mores, and Illos are the perfect combination for a great night

For all of you we got to spend some time with this week, thank you!  Your friendship and your love was a comfort and a joy.  To my sister, thank you for making your home our home and letting us live, eat, laugh, have guests, drink coffee, do laundry, and come and go with love.  To my parents, thanks for our crab feast, for coming with us to Laurel Lake, and for loving us so much.  

Our last day in PA will be filled with wedding joy and birthday celebration and while I will certainly not be wearing an old t-shirt and jeans, it may very well feel like I am.  We return to the Bluegrass tomorrow to our "new" old house and our "new" old friends and "new" old life.   We are beyond grateful for the blessings we find in all our homes (here, in Indiana and in Kentucky)  Our life is blessed and full because of the people who fill it and the God who blesses it.  And there is nothing more familiar and comforting than that.

A Year Ago: Reflection and Update on our Kentucky Adventure

A year ago, this week, our family was making its "final rounds", visiting friends, saying our "see you laters", hugging and laughing and crying, and doing our very best to not let a moment pass without making the very most of our remaining time in Pennsylvania.  We were packing final boxes, signing final papers, making final arrangements and doing all kinds of other "lasts" and "finals."

It is very hard to believe that was a year ago.  We find ourselves today in what we still consider out "new" home and marvel that a year has gone past.  It's not that the year wasn't full; on the contrary, our hearts are filled with wonderful memories, warm friends, and a welcoming community.  It's just that a year "sounds" so long but is really just a breath in eternity (see previous blog post).  


The beginning of summer in Kalas felt like a long time too.  Stretched in front of us was a long, hot summer devoid of friends (who were either away for the summer or had moved away for good) and an empty calendar to fill.  And fill it we did with vacation and day trips, time in Indiana and evenings at the park, hikes and bikes, day camps and Back Porch Art and, ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom we have almost reached August.

And so we come once again to a new academic year and this time around, a new job for Mom as a full-time Director of Children and Family Ministry.  We are not entering the school year with as many questions or as many concerns as we did last year.  The girls know their school and their teachers.  Luke has acclimated to Asbury life and gotten to know professors and coursework.  I am the only one truly diving into new territory but not unfamiliar to our family.  And Caleb calls this house "home" and knows where our friends and neighbors live and is a happy, rambunctious, wonderful 3 year old boy!

As I look back at my facebook posts and blog entries from last year at this time, I see the bittersweet joy and questions and concerns paired with statements of faith and sincere hope and I smile.  Because, as I once heard a speaker say, "God is not done writing your story.  Where you see a period, He sees a comma; He is not done yet."  It's so very true.  Where we see "finals" and "lasts", He sees just another chapter in the beautiful story He is weaving.  We cannot predict where the plot will turn next.  We cannot know every character that will be introduced, every twist in the story, and every page-turning climax we will experience. Only the Author knows that.  What we do know and what we can bank on is this: "I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind.  The God of angel armies is always by my side.  The One who reigns forever, He is a friend of mine.  The God of angel armies is always by my side." (Chris Tomlin lyrics)

Tomorrow the sun will rise, the day will dawn and life will go one.   Good things come and good things go.  Sad things come and sad things go.  The ebb and flow of life will not cease and neither will the love of God.  So as we face today, tomorrow and wherever the future takes us, may our questions always be rooted in the consistent love of Christ and may our answers always be found in the gentle hands of God.  It's not a matter of "if we'll be okay."  We will be okay if we are found in Him.  

There will always be a part of our heart left in the arms of friends and family in Pennsylvania.  We will always feel "home" when we are there.  This Sunday our daughters will be baptized in their home church.  We will attend the annual church picnic at Roxbury.  We will spend time with my parents, live with my sister and her family, and meet friends at parks, homes, and restaurants.  Then we will pack up, much like we did last year, and head back to Kentucky where friends, school, jobs, and life awaits us.  And, unlike last year, it won't feel like "finals" and "lasts" but "see you soon" and "call me."  And the story will continue to be written.

Time on My Side

I have not seen my girls since last Saturday evening around 6:30 pm.  This is the first time since they were born that I have been away from them for this long.  Luke's wonderful parents with some help from his sister invited the girls to stay with them in Indiana for a whole week where I am pretty sure they got thoroughly spoiled (as all good grandparents do) and enjoyed absolutely every minute.  Coming home will be the biggest downer of their summer I'm afraid.

More than a few people asked me, with looks of compassion and understanding, if I missed the girls.   Because I felt like a heel if I answered honestly, I usually said, "Yes" and smiled sweetly as if I were in some sort of emotional angst about being apart from them for this time.  But... I have to tell you something.... I lied.  If I were honest, the truth is I didn't really miss them all that much.  That's not to say I don't love them or that I am not excited to welcome them back home.  But miss them?  No, I really didn't.  I knew that they were being loved and cared for.  I knew that they were safe and happy.  And I knew that they were old enough to handle being away from us and mature enough to take care of themselves without mommy and daddy hovering.  That's not to say I'm not gonna smother them in kisses and squeeze them silly when they get home today, but I realize they've reached a point in their life where more and more they will be independent of me and come into their own person.  Let's face it, Hannah is only 7 years away from being considered an adult by the government of the United States and only 5 years away from operating a moving vehicle.

When I finally did express these honest feelings to a friend, the familiar comment was made along the lines of "Ahh, they grow up so fast."  I nodded my head in agreement at first but as I pondered that thought over the next few days, I gave pause.  Because the truth is, no, they aren't not growing up so fast.  There are still 24 hours in every day, 7 days in every week, and 52 weeks in a year.  While my perception of time may be changing, time itself is not moving faster or careening forward at a blinding pace.  While it is true that my girls are growing up, they are growing up at the same pace every man, woman, and child has since the beginning of time.

My wonderful kiddos

So why is it that we hear this statement or some variation of it so often?  Why do veteran parents warn us that it will be over so quickly?  Why do we look at our babies and say, "Oh please stop growing, I want you to stay my baby?"  Why do we look at pictures and think, "Wow, how have them grown so much?  Where has the time gone?"  And I am queen of this mantra, especially with Caleb, my baby, who still sports his baby curls because I refuse to cut them off.

As I've given much thought to this over the past few days, I can't help but come to this conclusion: We were made for more.  The emotional tug of our heart that shakes our head at the swift passage of time is out of sync with our very being, who being created in the image of God, has its heart and soul rooted in the realm of eternity.  Time constraints to not exists in God's dimension.  He who has been, is now, and forever will be does not measure life, even our lives, in hours, days, and weeks.  "He has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end." (Ecc 3:11)

It's not that time is going quickly.  It's that our time here is just a blip on the screen of time.  Eternity, neverending time, is so gigantic and so immense our heads cannot wrap themselves around it but our hearts cannot detach themselves from it.  And so we look at our time here on earth and we lament the passage of time because we cannot understand the full scope of God's work from beginning to end.

Now listen people, I am not a theology major and I have no idea if this whole idea of eternity and why time goes fast fits into some category of theological thought or exegesis; I'm just sharing what I think about why we feel the way we do so often.  Moreso, I'm curious as to how that should affect how we live, how we approach life and prioritize and value the people and possessions therein.  More specifically, how do I as a parent recognize the march of time without grieving its passage in my children's lives and fearing the swiftness it seems to manifest?

Holding my hand one more time

My uneducated conclusion: Live in each moment.  Truly live into each special time.  Caleb is 3.  He still snuggles after nap.  He still kisses me on the lips.  He still holds my hand when we go for walks and lets me keep those adorable ringlets around his face.  And it is so tempting for me in those moments to think, "He's not going to do these things soon.  He's going to grow up and be an awkward preteen with abnormally long appendages and smelly body parts and then he's going to get all buff and handsome and some girl is going to TAKE HIM AWAY from me and he is going to hold her hand and kiss her lips and snuggle with her and I hate her already and I just want him to stop growing and stay with me like this forever!!!"  And while I am thinking those thoughts, I am wasting the precious moments I have with him now because I have become the victim of time instead of a participator in eternity.

And let's be realistic. He will also learn how to use the toilet instead of a diaper at night.  He will learn how to voice his desires instead of using various forms of whining and screeching to express his thoughts.  He will figure out how to eat a popsicle without half of it depositing on his shirt or the sidewalk.  Just like my girls, he will grow in confidence and instead of being sad when I leave the house for a few hours, he will be able to leave me and go spend a week with Grandma and Granddad.  And that is all good, and normal, and fine.  

I am learning to rejoice in the moment.  It truly is all we have.  The past is done.  The memories are made. The future is uncharted.  The possibilities endless.  What we have is today.  And we are not alone.  The One who set eternity in our hearts is walking with us.  The One who sees the past and knows the future is living in this moment with us now.  So yes, take the time to enjoy those snuggles and recognize that this moment will pass probably faster than your eternal soul desires it to, but also know, it isn't too fast, it's God's perfect timing and eternity will amaze us with its longevity.

When the girls get home today, they will regal me with stories of all they've done and show me all the cool things they made with Grandma and Aunt Jennifer and complain that I make them go to bed a normal time and do chores and stuff, and I will do my best to live in that moment.  They are growing up, as they should be, and I am blessed by God to be a part of that process.  Go hug your kids, not with regret that the future is looming, but with joy that in the present you are there.