You see, I'm finding it hard to spend time with all my friends too. As the days tick by and I think of more and more people I want to "say goodbye" to, I am realizing that I may not get even that little bit of time with each of them. I can't have a "play date" and invite all my friends from 25 years of life to come play at a park with me. I'm avoiding the term "one last" like it is the plague - one last dinner, one last walk, one last chance to talk and laugh and be with my family and my friends.
As a believer, I know that "goodbye" is not forever and there truly is not such thing as "one last". But even though I will see each one again, it will change. Things will not be as things have been. Connection will have to be more intentional and less everyday. Phone calls will have to take the place of chats over coffee. Skype will have to be our face-to-face and facebook our passing coversations (and can I just interject how extremely grateful I am that these technologies exist!!)
I will miss our house. We built it 10 years ago. We raised three kids in it. We painted and re-painted, carpeted and re-carpeted, finished it and then re-finished it. We've played in it, laughed in it, entertained in it, cried in it and really lived in it. Luke asked me once we are done with seminary and we buy again, what my dream house would look like. I told him that we already built it. Our home has been a place of peace in storms and love in all things. My prayer has been that whoever comes to fill these walls next will feel the residual effects of a home filled with God, family, love and hope and it will bless them too. I will miss our house.
I will miss our churches. In our first church we learned how to love in community and serve one another, to put Jesus first in all things and love the brotherhood, and to never stop growing in Christ. As God called us to CBIC, we put into action what we learned. In our time there, our family has had the chance to serve in various capacities confirming to us over and over again that we have been called to a life of ministry to the body of Christ. We have done outreaches, taught classes, shared from the pulpit, led various ministries, prayed with so many brothers and sisters, counseled many others, and grew in our own walk with Christ and a refining of call and purpose. Our times of worship together, of learning together and of growing together will be treasured forever and now the outpouring of love and support as we follow God's leading to Asbury has been incredible and overwhelming. I will miss our churches.
I will miss my friends. And I will miss my family. And since so many of my friends feel like family and because my family are my dearest friends, these lines become blurred often by tears but mostly by love. I will miss impromptu family walks and dinners, running into you at Walmart or Giant, Girl's Night Out with my best friends, game nights and Fancy Dinner Fridays with friends, random meetings that turn into late night chats, and serving together as we reach out to our community and church. I will, from the very depths of my heart, miss all of you.
So, this blog is a lot more about me than it is about "us" but I think we all feel this way to some extent. We express it differently, we feel it uniquely but the reality is, there is a "not fun" part of moving and this is it. It doesn't negate our peace regarding taking this step of faith. And there is excitement about the future and meeting new friends and seeing where God leads us in the future. We've been blessed with a wonderful life here, wonderful friendships, wonderful love. And it's never fun to leave that behind.
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